Dating Wisely 1.0: Yes, It’s Stressful!

The Anxiety and Stress of Dating

Today we’re going to start a new series on dating.

In 2014, the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture reported that the annual revenue of on-line dating was at an all-time high: $1.049 Billion. No kidding. And yet marriage rates in the United States are faltering and divorce rates remain abysmal. Yikes! What’s going on?

That’s what we’re going to explore in this series.

Let’s be honest. There are few activities that are as anxiety-producing as dating…especially if you’re a mid-lifer. Dating after a divorce just isn’t the same as dating when you were a young adult.

High Stakes

Plus, the stakes are super high. A stable relationship is one of the best predictors of quality of life and longevity, while a rocky one is a predictable sentence for a host of physical, emotional and social problems.

So if you want a stable relationship, you’re going to have to be wise about whom you shack up with. But what does it even mean to be wise in dating? And how is it even possible? You don’t really know someone until you live with them, and by then it’s too late! At least that’s what I hear people saying a lot.

Dating Wisely IS Possible

I beg to differ. I’m going to offer a way to know with as much certainty as is possible whether you’re making a good choice for yourself. What I want to share with you is simple…though not easy to put into practice, especially when you consider that those early relationship hormones befuddle every rational thought you try to inject into the mix.

Just FYI, I may tell a few personal stories along the way. After all, I ended up divorced at age 38 and didn’t find my matching puzzle piece for almost another decade. I learned a lot of lessons from my experiences during that time, and I hope what I share will be helpful.

I went into the dating world armed with some really powerful principles that I put to an honest test, because I was determined to learn from my mistakes. I’m going to pass what I learned along to you, along with and the principles I used to date wisely. If they hadn’t worked to make me a more solid, warm, confident human being and dater, I wouldn’t suggest them to you.

The Best of Family Systems Psychology

My approach in this series will be to apply the best of what we know of family systems psychology to the issue of dating. If you come by every day, you’ll get one more tidbit to add to your wise dating arsenal…kind of like free counseling. Share with your friends, discuss the topics I present, and wrangle together over this critical personal and social issue.

If you’re already in a relationship, the principles I share will still apply, as they’re really about how to be solid and how to build solid relationships in our 21st Century Western cultural climate. It ain’t easy. I hope you’ll stick around.

Feel free to comment respectfully. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

 

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